


the kids aren't alright

by QQI25



Series: i've found my home [2]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad Parenting, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-10-31 20:46:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17856728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QQI25/pseuds/QQI25
Summary: Taako's too fat, too inactive, too inadequate for his mom.





	the kids aren't alright

**Author's Note:**

> pls take note of the tags and read at ur own discretion! 
> 
> title is from the fall out boy song of the same name (-:

_Big stomach. Thunder thighs. Chubby cheeks_ , Taako thinks as he stares at his reflection in the mirror. His hair isn’t doing him any favours either. His mom’s words have gotten to him. 

“Look at you, Taako. You’re gaining so much weight,” Mama says. “You’re getting another helping? It’s not doing you any favours, mijo. I’m just saying.” It’s her favourite train of thought probably, besides being transphobic and homophobic. She can’t get through to him about “turning straight” so she’ll attack what he’s always been most sensitive about: his appearance. 

“Look at how thin and muscular these models are, Taako. You look _no_ thing like them. You want people to like the way you look? You look more like these people. You work out and do sports like your brother.” Mama tsks. She’s always disappointed in him. He’s never good enough. He’ll _ne_ ver be good enough. 

He tears his gaze away from the mirror, looking instead down at the sink, to the side at the wall, to the other side at the shower, anything besides himself and his reflection. He wishes the bathroom could get warm like it was right after his shower had ended, wishes the mirror could magically fog up again so he doesn’t have to look at himself. He gets dressed quickly and trudges to his and Lulu’s room. Lulu’s still out because she’s active, unlike him, takes part in sports, unlike him. 

\---

Taako hasn’t been eating nearly as much lately. He doesn’t bring snacks to school anymore, barely eats anything at lunch besides their sorry excuse of a salad. Lulu’s really his only friend and they don’t have lunch together, so no one notices. He certainly feels it when he’s hungry, but he learns to tune that out as best he can. On a positive note, he drinks more water because it staves off that hunger for a bit. He’s been feeling more exhausted though. He writes that off too. 

\---

“You don’t want any more, Taako?” Mama’s looking at him, head tilted to the side.

“No, I’m good.” He’s not. He’s still a bit hungry, but then again, isn’t he always a bit hungry anyways?

“You sure? You haven’t been taking seconds lately.” He just takes his bowl to the sink and goes up to his and Lulu’s room. Isn’t it funny how hypocritical people can be? Isn’t it funny how the very same person who was making comments about too many helpings is now making comments about too _li_ ttle helpings? 

Taako sits on his bed with his back against the wall, looking at nothing, really. Lup comes in wordlessly and sits next to him. He rests his head on her shoulder and she snakes an arm around him. 

“Do you think I’m too fat?” he finally asks. 

“I think,” she responds carefully, “that whether or not you’re fat, you still look hella good, and you’re still my brother, and I still love you. Do you think _I’m_ fat?” 

“No,” he says immediately.

“Well, let’s say _I_ say I’m fat. Is there anything wrong with my being fat?” 

“ . . . I guess not.” 

“What made you ask me that?” 

“It’s Mama,” he says, his voice cracking. “She’s been telling me that I eat too much, and that if I wanna look good, I hafta work out. I haven’t been eating enough at school, Lulu. I’m hungry and I don’t fucking eat because I don’t bring snacks and I eat their stupid fucking two-pieces-of-lettuce salad for lunch and I don’t eat enough ‘til dinner.” Lup wraps her arms around Taako and he buries his head in her shoulder, holding onto her like she’s a lifeline. 

“Shit, T,” she says softly. They stay like that until he starts to get his breathing back in control. He breaks away from her and wipes his tears away with his sleeves, sniffing. 

“So. Obviously _I_ work out and am hella active.”

“Obviously,” Taako echoes.

“ _And_ our bodies look basically the same. Do you get what I’m tryna say, Taako? There’s nothing _wrong_ with your body. I’m active as fuck and I look like this. You’re not and you look like this. Our _this_ is the same. There’s nothing wrong with the way you look. Shit, Taako, you’re like the most attractive person I’ve met and I’m not saying that because we’re identical twins. You’re fine as hell and having a li’l chub doesn’t make you not attractive. Fuck Mama, you know? What does _she_ know?” Taako can’t _not_ pull Lup into another hug. 

“I’m serious about all that. I love you.”

“I love you too,” he says thickly. He goes to sleep that night feeling less empty and numb than he has in a while. 

Saturday morning, he wakes up to see Lup on her phone. He lays in his own bed for a bit before crawling into hers. She’s always so warm. 

“Whatcha doin’, Lulu?” 

“You wanna go to Tía’s today?” She asks in lieu of a reply. 

“Sure. It’s been a bit.” And it has. Their parents both work, so they don’t go out much unless Lup’s the one driving. 

“C’mon, then. Up, up!” She locks her phone and shoos him out of her bed. 

Taako obediently goes to their closet and changes into clothes suitable for going out. His closet is mostly dark colours, especially black. _How drab_ , he notes absentmindedly. 

He changes, then goes down to make them some scrambled eggs. Lup comes down shortly after to make the bacon. 

“You waited for me to change before _you_ started so that you could get the easier job,” Taako says mock-accusingly, hip checking her. 

“Mmm, you caught me. That’s my life, all day every day. Hanging back so I don’t have to do the brunt of the work. Wait, I got confused. Am I describing _me_ or _you_?”

“Well,” Taako says, sighing, “you’re not exactly _wrong_.” Lup cackles and Taako cracks a smile. 

“Music to my ears,” Lup says as she goes to get plates for them. She puts the bacon on them and gets forks as well. “Fancy some apple juice, Taako?”

“Do I _ev_ er.” He plates the eggs as Lup pours them apple juice. 

Breakfast is a fairly short affair. It’s also quite delicious, as is anything they make. They haven’t learned to make much yet, but what they _can_ make, Taako treasures. He loves working in the kitchen, as does Lup, if the expressions on her face when they do is anything to go by. 

They brush their teeth after they finish, and then they’re off. In the car, Lup connects her phone to the Bluetooth, playing a Spotify playlist Taako had made for them on their birthday. 

Their tía lives alone in a cosy apartment on the second floor, a trek they make via the stairs. 

“Hi! Come in, come in! Mis cariños,” Tía says tenderly as she hugs them. 

“Hi Tía,” they chorus. 

“Take off your coats and shoes and come to the kitchen once you’ve washed your hands,” Tía orders. 

“Yes ma’am!” They rush into the bathroom, Taako feeling like a little kid again. Lup reaches it first, of course, and they’re bent over the sink, giggling breathlessly.

“I win!” 

“Yeah, okay, we _both_ win this time. Lulu, she’s fucking teaching us how to cook! Like, make food! Of our own!” he manages to somehow shout in a hushed voice. Lulu’s eyes are lit up, much like his probably are. 

“Yep,” Lup says, popping the ‘p’. 

When they head back into the kitchen, their tía already has the ingredients laid out on her island. 

“I’m gonna teach you guys how to make empanadas, okay?” And she walks them through the process patiently, throughout which they also have a lot of fun. He feels more than a little hungry by the time they’re done and the empanadas are put in a serving dish. 

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom! Don’t start eating with me!” Lup dashes off to the bathroom, and it’s just him and Tía.

“Your sister came up with this idea,” Tía says, looking first where Lup ran off and then at Taako. “You been doin’ okay, mijo?” 

“Oh, y’know,” Taako says casually, looking down at the countertop and drawing circles in the leftover flour. “Just . . . issues . . . with my body. Mama says I’m . . . too fat. That I need to work out like Lulu if I want people to think I look good. Lulu says I look fine the way I am but Mama . . . Mama’s been saying her shit far longer, is all. The seed’s been planted and is growing a very, very, very large plant in my mind, and all that.” His vision’s starting to blur. Tía sidles up and envelops him in her arms. 

“Oh mijo,” she breathes. “Oh Taako. I’m so sorry you have to deal with that. You don’t need to change a thing about yourself. Not a thing. Your mother’s not always right, you know that right? She has certain . . . beliefs that are very cruel. If people only wanna be friends with people that are up to par with societal standards, then that’s their problem. _You_ have nothing to worry about. Okay? There are people that will love you no matter _what_ you look like. Lup and I, we’re in your corner, mijo. We’re here for you and we love you.” Tía cradles Taako’s face in her hands and presses a kiss on his forehead. “Go wash your hands so we can eat.” He does that, taking a moment after to wipe his eyes. Lup walks in, rubbing her hands together. 

“Ready to get this fuckin’ bread?” They all laugh and start eating. 

On the drive back home, Lup plays the same playlist. Taako looks at her. 

“You went to the bathroom on purpose.” It’s a statement, not a question.

“Mmm. Caught me.” She glances briefly at him before returning her gaze to the road ahead. “I just want you to know we both love you, y’know? Even if you have no one else, you’ll have us. I promise.” 

From then on, they take weekly trips to Tía’s. Sometimes she teaches them how to make something. Other times, she lets them experiment and try new recipes on their own. No matter what they do, Taako knows they both love him.

**Author's Note:**

> \- i've been there nd it fucking SUCKS. my mom wld make fun of my weight and my outfits, my cousin wld keep tlking abt my thunder thighs, my aunt always noted how i'd go bk for seconds (nd ltr how i nvr did). i'm still dealing w the consequences today lol. sometimes i'll look at certain foods or just food in gen nd be like holy shit tht looks fucking disgusting nd my stomach will be growling but i just Can't Eat. this isn't ovr bc ednos isn't tht simple oof ya it's gna come bk in the form of my consequences in ltr fics. i'm gna make a fic including sazed w like a toxic relationship nd i might incl weight issues might not idk
> 
> \- they're defo not too thin they're btwn healthy nd "overweight" tho i'm like a healthy weight for my size nd i got thicc thighs nd a bit of a tum nd my mom still made fun of me for tht bc society's expectations are real fuckin screwed up!! 
> 
> \- the drawings for the ipre are done! i just gotta post it on tumblr nd when i do i'll post a pt to this series w the link to tht!


End file.
